Jun. 20, 2020

How can I help you say goodbye

How can I help you say goodbye

Where can I even begin? Words seem so inadequate as I try recall all of our memories. I never thought or even dreamed I would ever receive a call that you were taken so swiftly. Oh in my heart as I picked up the phone I knew. I had been a sleep and as my blurry vision looked at the phone number, I had a sick feeling in my stomach. I had just been looking at your beautiful pictures from your wedding anniversary vacation. You were so full of life and the smile on your face was absolutely radiant.
You were doing what you loved, with the one you loved.

We talked so many times about how your brother, Jon Mark was killed so many years ago in a motorcycle accident. I will never forget that day when we received that horrific news. Never would I believe we would have a repeat 39 years later.

In 2017, as your husband and you pulled up on a motorcycle to our house it left me a little unnerved. I was always afraid for you when you would call telling me about your bike trips, but my fears would be replaced with laughter as I heard how giddy you would be about riding with your sweet husband. You were always so happy when you were headed out to ride. I would be nervous, but then I would remember the Twinkle of Joy that radiated out from those beautiful blue eyes and my fears would be subsided. As you climbed upon the bike, you would always wrap your arms so tightly around your husband and I could see your true happiness. You would grin and I would think, well she is right where she belongs. You lived like you loved! You gave everything, your all and often times that caused you pain. Pain sometimes I knew you tried to hide. Today it is all of us left behind that are in pain. Not because we hurt for you, for we know where you are, we know that you are where the flowers always bloom! We hurt because the flesh wants you here!

I even believe each time you were riding, you felt closer to Jon Mark. Maybe all those burst of wind gust you felt where in reality sweet wonderful kisses and hugs from above.

I love all my cousins and each of them hold a very special place in my heart, but the Daily family were more like my brothers and sisters. We lived on the same street for many years and those cousin shenanigans on Jordon Ave are some of my greatest memories.

When my cousins moved to Tennessee, I just didn’t understand it, but momma assured me that we would see each other again, we were family and we made away to still hold the bond of not only family but friends.

As I sit here unable to find sleep, I try to make sense out of the last 24 hours. I stare at the wall and think maybe this is just a dream and I will wake up soon. I just can’t make sense out of it, I don’t understand the Lord’s ways, I guess that’s why he is God and I am not.

Isaiah 55:8-9 KJV
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. [9] For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

He has infinite wisdom and sees the things that we do not, he knows what is headed for our future, we can not. I hurt for her husband, her children, grand children and siblings. I just hurt! I cry and then I can’t cry, life is so very short, we just seem to never understand that, for if we truly understood there would be a whole lot less chaos in our world. We would love harder, hug longer, smile more and speak softer.

Today my heart hurts and we sure are going to miss Cyndi Daily Dillion! Life will never be the same and maybe that is the whole reason why. Maybe it is to help us to realize to never take a moment or breath for granted. Neither are promised!

This morning I can hear you singing with the Angels now, and oh what a beautiful sound that is ringing in my ears this morning!

Would everyone please keep her husband and family in your prayers. If it wasn’t for prayers I know we would never make it and I thank you in advance.

I am going to leave you with a few lyrics of a Patty Loveless song that just keeps going over and over in my head.

I Love you Cyndi and we shall see you soon but for right now, I need someone to help me say Goodbye,

“And through my tears I asked again, why we couldn't stay
Mama whispered softly time will ease your pain
Life's about changing nothing ever stays the same
And she said how can I help you to say goodbye it's okay to hurt and it's okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try, how can I help you to say goodbye”