Feb. 25, 2019

I thought of you today

I thought of you today!
As I opened my eyes, I thought of you today.
When my feet hit the floor, I thought of you today.
As the sun appeared over the horizon, I thought of you today.
When I fried my bacon, or as I burnt my bacon, I thought of you today.
As I drove to town, I thought of you today.
When I looked towards the sky, I thought of you today.
As an old Conway Twitty song played, I thought of you today.
As the chill of the wind hit my skin,
I thought of you today.
When I seen the daffodils were blooming, I thought of you today.

Not that this is anything unusual, for the last 8086 days I thought of you.
It will soon be 23 years since I seen your beautiful face. On that very day, I sat in disbelief wondering if the flood gates of tears would ever stop at the thought of you. It has been 8086 days and today as I thought of you, only a single tear rolled down my cheek. As I thought of you today, I didn’t cry like yesterday for what I had lost, Today I cried for what you left. Everything I am today is because you thought of me each and every day while you were here. Because of you I have learned to just be me. I have learned those around me don’t have to like me, I like me. I learned how to have empathy, sympathy and compassion towards others. I received your unconditional love which taught me to love unconditionally. I have learned how to forgive even when others aren’t sorry. I watched as you had every right not to love or forgive but you chose to give so graciously. I watched you give when you had nothing to give, but trusted that God would provide and he always did. You were by no means a push over but you never held a grudge. While others thought you didn’t know, you did and chose to remain quite. You taught me so many things in the short 30 years I was blessed to call you mom. I am who I am because you thought of me each and every day.
Sure I miss you, sometimes terribly, but today as I thought of you, I chose not to weep. Today I decided to laugh, rejoice and just look in the mirror for your sweet face. You left your imprint for many generations to come, for we will carry on till we see you again.

Today you maybe grieving a loss of a loved one, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to grieve. Everyone handles grief differently, there is no wrong or right way. I can’t promise that life will ever be the same again, for the void will be great but the outcome can be greater. I don’t think we really live until will are faced with a death of someone close to us. It’s at this moment you realize how short life on this earth really is. I know the tears will flow and you should let them. Tears are such a cleansing. I pray you find comfort in the arms of the Lord and let him hold you till you can find Joy again.
I promise you will get through this, let it leave you better and not bitter. That is a choice that is entirely up to you. Today I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, “Laugh as much as you breath, Love as much you live.”

Until later......Remember
Psalm 30:5 KJV
[5] For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.